Strawberries, Wheels Forever
The Women Of The Pacific Roller Derby League Include A Lawyer And Ph.D. Candidate - But When They’re Skating, Their Alter Egos Emerge. They fly around the rink clad in graffiti-laced helmets, short skirts and fishnet stockings while sending their friends
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They fly around the rink clad in graffiti-laced helmets, short skirts and fishnet stockings while sending their friends and teammates crashing to the cement to receive the sport’s badge of honor: a bright strawberry bruise of torn skin and broken blood vessels - which never fails to draw the attention of the young Marines who are housed around their Kaneohe Bay practice rink. Go figure.
The ladies of the Pacific Roller Derby (PRD) league are preparing for their bout against the Maui Roller Girls, who are rumored to be bringing in a ringer for their Nov. 9 contest at the Hawaii Kai Skate Park, and practices are getting serious.
“Duck walk! Duck walk!!” yells coach Ding.Ding.Ding! after one of her charges hits the deck and slowly scrambles to rejoin the pack of blockers who are quickly speeding away. The skater reaches the pack, but Ding! continues her critique of the action. One seems worried about contact. Another ignores the competition and allows a jammer to slide past. Both are in the doghouse.
You may have noticed the coach is not going by her given name as no self-respecting skater would dare compete under such staid monikers as Susan or Kathy, though Honey Girl remains a possibility. This is a sport dominated by alter egos, where the drudgery of office work and traffic jams is forgotten with each carefully placed hip check and deftly delivered elbow. Within these boards is where teams such as the Break Neck Betties, the Calamity Janes, the Reservoir Dolls and the ever-unstable members of the Church of Skaten ply their unsavory trade.
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And just what type of nefarious character takes part in such activities with the PRD? A variety of degenerates bent on fostering anti-social behavior, no doubt.
Sanda Day O’Killer is a lawyer, Hell Reising is a mental health case manager, Dee Stroi!oi!oi!er is a florist, Lexi Stentialpain is a Ph.D. candidate, Pulp Vixen a mental health team leader, Rockabilly Wreck Her - currently on maternity leave - is a Chinese linguist for the Navy. And, of course, there are perhaps the most unsavory of all - child-rearing mothers. Basically the type of women mom warned you about.
Adopting such persona is just part of the fun for a sport that blends athletics, a dash of punk attitude, a pinch of self-expression and a whole lot of physical feminism. And, of course, a healthy dose of berating the officials.
“The refs are always getting yelled at even if they are right,” says Ding!. “Who’s keeping time! Who’s keeping time!” shouts a skater who has been sent to the penalty box for an inappropriate elbow.
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Serenity Slayer aka Natalie Hancock, a coach for the team, says escapism and competition are what make the sport attractive to the members.
“It gives you the chance to become this whole other persona,” says the Army wife whose husband, Richard, is currently on his second tour in Iraq. “Literally, it’s like you’re this whole different person. It’s just part of the game. I’m not Natalie when I skate, I’m Slayer. I get up there and I get rough. I’m a mom of two and a nice person, but you put me in the ring and I’m another person.”
As it turns out, roller derby does more than just allow its participants a bit of stress relief. It’s also very good exercise. The ladies of the PRD practice for two hours, three days a week, and it doesn’t take long before the sweat begins to turn once-bouncy hair into domes of dripping string and dry shirts into stained cotton sponges - all of which surprised Kim Crinella, listed in your program as Kat-Atomic. After joining the
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