Teaching Teens To Be Winners
By sharing some of the techniques she used to survive a childhood spent shuttling among 13 foster homes - ‘Be bitter or be better’ - Delorese Gregoire helps teens develop positive outlooks and confidence
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The Winners’ Camp staff and graduating class from
a summer program earlier this year
camp site is at Kamehame Ridge, between Hawaii Kai and Waimanalo.
For the first 15 years, Winners’ Camp was homeless, with growth hampered by the frustration of having to find a site for each camp. Determined to find a permanent site, tenacious Gregoire stood before fellow members of the Honolulu Rotary Club and pleaded for help.
Consequently, she met Paul Cathcart, senior asset manager for Kamehameha Schools, who suggested the former Army barracks at the top of Kamehame Ridge. For years it was used as a Nike missile installation. Winners’ Camp now has a 40-year license to use the 3.5-acre site.
In lieu of rent, Winners’ Camp agreed to include Kamehameha students and teachers in its programs. A massive clean-up effort by civilian and military volunteers ensued. Cathcart notes that a group like Winners’ Camp is the perfect steward for the ridge site and its unique ecosystem.
It also is an inspiring setting for what happens within four buildings that house campers.
Teens aged 13-17 engage in an intensive learning process to create a positive sense of self-identity by setting goals and experiencing the exhilaration of “winning.” This is winning where the opponent is one’s own fears and self doubts.
By conquering challenging outdoor events, teens learn to recognize their own courage and self-confidence. By repeatedly going beyond what they thought they could do, they learn the joy of reaching their highest potential.
Specially trained team leaders and facilitators guide the activities. Instruction in conflict resolution and advanced communications techniques also are presented. They hear from motivational speakers such as Wally Amos and Pam Chambers.
Participants learn skills such as note-taking, memory training, visualization and creative thinking techniques. But the major force in improving grades and academic ability, according to Gregoire, is the development of positive and constructive attitudes about a teen’s own capabilities.
“You learn a lot of skills you don’t get elsewhere,” says Darcie Yukimura, 27, a camp graduate who’s now a facilitator and board member.
Yukimura experienced her first camp at age 12, after her father heard about the program during a Kauai Rotary Club speech. “I was growing into my own skin, being a terror, and having issues with myself that disrupted the household,” Yukimura recalls. “Winners’ Camp taught me about myself and refocused my purpose in the world.”
She continued camp during spring and summer breaks for 10 years. After graduating from Kauai High School, she pursued communications and public health degrees at the University of Arizona. Today, Yukimura is director of communications at Saint Louis School.
“When your values are clear, your choices are clear,” she says. “Winners’ Camp opened my eyes to the fact that I have a wonderful family and a stable home environment, growing up in a wonderful community like Kauai. I want future generations to have the same luxury.
“We can be our own worst enemy,” Yukimura admits. “Winners’ Camp validates each teenager and sees huge potential for success in each person. I left my first camp knowing in a holistic way that I would be a success.”
The principles taught at Winners’ Camp are applicable to adults in business situations and relationships, and in community achievement. Gregoire is often asked to make presentations or conduct seminars for educators, corporate executives and civic leaders.
“Winners’ Camp is a process,” Yukimura explains, “We touch the inner core of who you are. You have to deal with your own demons. While sharing this with peers, you realize that you’re not the only one who feels that way.”
Kaiser High School senior Mareva Cosco, 17, agrees. She was a teen-demon who made a transformation after attending Winners’ Camp in the eighth grade.
“No matter what’s going on in your life, you can get something out of it,” she says. “It’s much more than leadership training.”
Fellow team leader and Kaiser senior Bryce Harken, 17, takes it to a personal level. “I learned that your parents really want to hear ‘I love you.’ You don’t think about that, you know. Sometimes you just gotta say it.”
He adds, “It’s really safe here. You can open up. There’s not all that drama. When the trust is high, the drama is low.”
Friend Tina Cournede, 17, turns to Cosco and reflects. “I’ve known Mareva since middle school, and I remember how she used to be before. Since Winners’ Camp, I’ve seen a lot of really cool changes. Her life has changed around. She’s much more happy, she expresses herself freely, and I love being around her.”
When your peers say you’re cool, it’s the ultimate compliment.
How do teens get to Winners’ Camp? Are they referred by social service agencies, churches, schools, fed-up parents?
This is not a rehabilitation camp or some off-beat miracle cult in the hills, Gregoire assures us. “We don’t take adjudicated kids. This is life skills training for teenagers who want to strive for personal and academic excellence.”
The camp does not take “teens with problems,” she adds, because “all teens have problems.”
Dr. Neal Mazer, past chief of the state’s Child and Adolescence Mental Health Division, says, “Never, as a psychiatrist or volunteer with community organizations, have I witnessed such remarkable transformations. I heartily endorse this type of primary prevention program as a critical step in stopping the deterioration of family and community life.”
Teachers call Gregoire to ask, “What did you do? This child wouldn’t sit down and was disrespectful before.”
“I say that we gave him a bigger purpose,” she answers. “When people feel like they have a place in the world, they don’t have to disrupt everybody around them.”
The teenager of 1985 and 2005 are quite different, Gregoire states. “Today’s teen is much more sophisticated, tech-savvy, and grows up really fast. We have to strengthen them so they can be resilient. “
“As our program evolves, the new emphasis will be on pre-teens. Eleven-year-olds are now making decisions that used to be designated to 15-year-olds. They are living autonomous lives, separating themselves from their families earlier. They are being detached without the maturity that’s needed to operate,” she says.
Mass media and the Internet are influencing young people’s view of the world and their range of knowledge.
Indeed, enlightenment is at the heart of programs like Winners’ Camp. We are reminded that life comes with no instruction manual and some assembly is required. The best we can do is to guide the course of destiny with the right values and tools to succeed. That’s what Winners’ Camp is all about.
Like the acronym on its poster heralds: FOCUS, follow one course until successful.
Spring break Winners’ Camp is March 19-25, 2006. Hawaii resident tuition: $980. Visit www.winnerscamp.com for registration and information.
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